Let’s test on Dallas Mavericks followers.
Within the wake of the earth-shattering Luka Doncic commerce, issues might be…uh, going higher. Followers parading coffins and creatively constructed indicators round their beloved Dirk Nowitzki statue are being joined exterior by those that tried to go to the sport, however received thrown out of the stadium for screaming “FIRE NICO” on the Jumbotron. It’s a humanitarian disaster, a totalitarian regime. By maintaining the entire course of below wraps earlier than dropping the commerce in the midst of the night time whereas the group was on a prolonged street journey, the group clearly understood a foul response was coming, however did they anticipate it to be Nowitzki himself exhibiting up at a Lakers sport unhealthy?
Is it a revolt? No, Nico. It’s a revolution.
I really feel for Mavs followers, and I frankly don’t know if I’d react any extra favorably if the Boston Celtics traded Jayson Tatum for Bam Adebayo and a first-round decide. However issues are getting dire out right here, and the Mavericks’ out-of-touch response to their followers’ fully legitimate freakout has me questioning if the NBA wants some honest-to-goodness authorized reforms to guard followers. It’s been out of contact, out of whack, and threatening to drive us all out of our minds.
Absurd press conferences introducing their new gamers with out the GM who acquired them current. Fully tone-deaf quotes from proprietor Patrick Dumont saying “I’m a huge Luka fan. My household are huge Luka followers. I’ve a extremely deep appreciation for what he delivered to this group”… a few man they simply traded with no warning, in the midst of the night time, lower than a yr after he led them to the NBA Finals. In the event that they have been actively attempting to make this worse, I’m unsure what they might even do in a different way. And whereas I’m not right here to repair it, absolutely we are able to make this just a little higher, even when at this level I’m hesitant to counsel the Mavs gained’t proceed to seek out methods to make their responses much more tactless.
Sadly, like several unmitigated public relations catastrophe, we don’t have a time machine to return and repair the issue. However clearly, if any group is contemplating buying and selling their finest participant of their mid-20s for a worse participant of their 30s… don’t. However that ship has already left port, sailed into an iceberg and sunk to the underside of the ocean. So what’s to be completed?
The first step: ask for forgiveness.
Step one in correcting for any huge mistake is apologizing, which the Mavericks most likely suppose they will’t do lower than two weeks after making the commerce. However that’s solely as a result of they need to appear to be severe folks, however it could be doable to apologize and stay severe. You’d simply have to fireside all of the individuals who helped make the choice, so Nico Harrison, Miriam Adelson and Patrick Dumont. However that is likely to be sophisticated, since two of these folks personal the group, so…
Fortunately, it’s additionally doable to apologize with out remaining severe. And we already know they aren’t severe folks, as a result of… *gestures to the commerce they simply made*. So simply apologize, fireplace Nico so he takes the autumn for the billionaire homeowners, and transfer on. That’s a superb begin.
Step two might be a bit extra materials. As soon as they’ve issued probably the most complicated apology in human historical past, the Mavericks possession ought to most likely begin the world’s most blatant bribery marketing campaign. Free merch at each sport. Kyrie bobbleheads all over the place. Hell, Adelson and Dumont ought to most likely begin funding public works initiatives throughout Dallas. Something they will do to purchase off the fan base, even when it’s apparent.
Look, I’m not morally into bribery both, however I feel getting your fan base again on board is value a semi-obvious sustained PR stunt. However there’s additionally the likelihood that there’s nothing the Mavericks possession might do to repair this factor within the brief time period; I’m not even certain profitable a championship would repair it. It’s an affront to the previous, current and way forward for this group — an affront to the basic legal guidelines of NBA nature. What can they do in that case?
They may additionally go full-desperation mode, pull a web page from the Lakers’ e book and attempt to retroactively fail Davis’ bodily, thereby voiding the commerce and beginning probably probably the most complicated authorized course of the NBA has ever seen. It wouldn’t work, however it could present the followers they actually, actually perceive how incorrect the factor they did was, and perhaps earn some goodwill again for attempting.
Or, maybe, the reply is to fake all of it didn’t occur. Go full authoritarian mode and rewrite the historical past books. There by no means was a Luka. There has all the time been a Davis. Any point out of the commerce is met with “what commerce?” or “we’re trying into that, thanks for bringing it to our consideration.”
It sounds loopy, however get this: it’d solely be the second-craziest factor they’ve completed this season. In order a final resort, I don’t see why not.
