Earlier than you sit on your Thanksgiving meal, please get pleasure from a heaping serving to of unsavory golf headlines from this previous season.
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With Thanksgiving formally right here, custom requires the U.S. president to pardon a turkey. However on this house, we make mild of them — with a season-ending retrospective, singling out essentially the most memorable goofs and gaffes from the previous yr in golf. Let’s hand out our annual Turkey Awards.
The Barney Fife Award for Overly Exuberant Policing
Winners: Officers, Louisville Metropolitan PD
Should you can’t beat ‘em, ebook ‘em. Of all of the surprising sporting photographs of 2024, none was extra stunning than the sight of the famously goodie-two-shoes Scottie Scheffler in an orange jailhouse jumper. The mugshot got here courtesy of Louisville Metro PD, whose gives arrested the World No. 1 as he tried to drive round an early morning bottleneck exterior Valhalla Golf Membership earlier than the second spherical of the PGA Championship. In equity to the cops, the scene was chaotic: darkish, wet, traffic-congested. However the fees slapped on Scheffler, together with second-degree assault of a police officer and third-degree prison mischief, smacked of keystone extra from the beginning. Scheffler made his tee time — and the minimize — however how he may need fared within the occasion with out that Friday distraction grew to become a giant “What if?” for a golfer within the midst of a traditionally sizzling run. In a improvement far much less stunning than the preliminary incident, the fees in opposition to Scheffler had been quickly dropped.
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The Susie Essman Award for Working Blue within the Sales space
Winner: Morgan Pressel
Nearly with out exception, golf broadcasts are family-friendly. No surprise the fuss over Morgan Pressel when the NBC/Golf Channel analyst veered into R-rated materials throughout stay protection of ladies’s Olympic Golf. Swept up within the second whereas describing Brooke Henderson’s aggressive play, Pressel exulted: “She’s f—ing fired up. You like to see it.” Although we gained’t clutch our pearls and fake we had been offended — largely, it was humorous, and, hey, sh-t occurs, proper? — we had been irked the next day when Pressel provided a mealy-mouthed mea culpa that bordered on gaslighting. “I stumbled over my phrases and sadly it sounded as if I mentioned one thing inappropriate and I’m so sorry that it got here throughout as such as a result of I might by no means say that on the air in a broadcast.” Um, however you probably did.
The Damaged Ray-Ban Award for Dangerous Optics
Winner: Matt Kuchar
Of the 156 gamers who entered the 2024 Wyndham Championship, some missed the minimize and a few made the weekend however just one performed on until Monday. That was Matt Kuchar, who, in waning mild on Sunday night, opted to mark his ball on the lengthy par-4 18th after driving it within the tough, moderately than ending out his closing gap. Although Kuchar claimed his purpose was altruistic — he mentioned he thought it might profit his enjoying companion, Max Greyserman, to cease and that he needed to “make it simple” on Greyersman to take action — his said rationale raised eyebrows amongst skeptics who felt that Kuchar was simply out for a higher-paying end that may barely be a pittance for a person with $58 million in profession earnings. Regardless of the motive, the transfer meant that event officers and volunteers needed to stick round an additional day so {that a} single golfer might full play. Seen via any lens, it was a egocentric look.
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The ‘Dewey Defeats Truman’ Award for Untimely Celebration
Winner: Si Woo Kim
After jarring an unbelievable chip shot throughout Saturday foursomes on the Presidents Cup, Si Woo Kim bolted throughout the inexperienced together with his arms pressed to his cheek, mimicking Steph Curry’s well-known “evening evening” gesture. It was a cool impression, with only one catch: the match was tied. Two holes later, Individuals Patrick Cantlay and Xander Schauffele put Kim and his companion, Tom Kim, to mattress with an alternate-shot birdie on 18, incomes a full level for Group USA. Lights out, everybody.
The Tom Hanks Castaway Award for Stranding Vacationers
Winner: LPGA Tour
Because the nineteenth Solheim Cup acquired underway at Robert Trent Jones Golf Membership, in Virginia, the grandstands across the first tee had been half empty, however not for lack of curiosity. A shuttle bus snafu had left throngs of would-be spectators stranded within the car parking zone 5 miles away. Come night, the LPGA Tour issued an apology to followers — and wound up providing free tickets for the weekend. However there was no undoing the dangerous begin to a marquee girls’s occasion. It was additionally too late to quiet critics who felt the tour had slow-rolled communications surrounding the transportation snag.
The Soccer Hooligan Award for Embarrassing Atmospherics
Winner: WM Phoenix Open
Situations had been sloppy and so had been the followers on the 2024 version of a event that might have been rebranded the Wasted Administration Phoenix Open. Massive crowds, crowded walkways, muddy grounds and alcohol had been the important thing elements in a risky cocktail that gave rise to unprecedented numbers of arrests and hospitalizations, together with ugly exchanges between spectators and gamers. When all was mentioned and accomplished, event organizers took a sober months-long take a look at the occasion and determined that the Best Present on Turf would should be dialed again in years forward by tweaking insurance policies on ticket gross sales, visitors circulation and booze.
The Benjamin Button Whereas We’re Younger Award for Losing Time
Winners: Tony Finau and Alejandro Tosti
On the fourth inexperienced, throughout the third spherical of the Texas Youngsters’s Houston Open, Tony Finau and Alejandro Tosti each landed their balls 38 toes, 8 inches from the cup. However neither man was keen to budge a millimeter; every thought the different was away. Below the Guidelines of Golf, such issues are supposed to be determined “by settlement or by utilizing a random methodology.” The tactic Finau and Tosti selected was passive-aggressive argumentation, punctuated by gestures of frustration. Although broadcast mics failed to select up their exchanges, the visuals instructed a narrative of a pair of displeased gamers, every certainly desirous to have the benefit of watching the opposite man putt first. On it went like this for 3 minutes, 23 seconds earlier than motion resumed. Tosti wound up placing first. Seems order didn’t matter. Each gamers missed. Every made par, so that they hadn’t dropped a stroke. However the remainder of us had misplaced treasured moments from our lives.
